To sibling or not to sibling ... that is the question!

So, now that Hayden is 3 years old and has started school and is basically off of all "medical interventions", do we try for another? I have been given mixed information about the odds of having another micro-preemie with my kidney disease and after multiple miscarriages, do I want to start this all over again? Ugh! I am so confused!

I want another child. My husband says he wants another child. We have been without "birth control" measures for 18 months and nothing. Is the start of the infertility rollercoaster again? Who knows. All I know is, I want some better odds about the babies well-being before we decide what to do next.

Then comes the question to mind ... is this what's best for Hayden right now? He doesn't handle change so well because of his SPD. We were lucky he loved school, but a sibling ... that may pose too much stress right now. I just can't imagine him being an only child - think of all those holidays by himself and his kids wouldn't have aunt's or uncle's from him ... how sad!

Well, I think next week I will break down and call my OB/GYN and just see what's happening with my body ... wish me luck!

What a relief!

So, today was Hayden's first day at school! After all the apprehension of the first day ... he did Wonderfully! He loved it! He was up at 5:15am telling me "Go Kool" (short for let's go to school of course) even though our alarm was set for 6am. He wouldn't go back to sleep he was so wound up and excited!

So, we get to school and he didn't even notice that I left the room for a few minutes to go to the front desk to do paperwork and pay some last minute fees and stuff. When I came back in the room he was just playing his heart out. So, I told him bye-bye and he said it back and I left. When I got there to pick him up the teachers raved about how well-behaved he was. I was overjoyed!

His teacher said he sat in his chair, helped clean up, and listen and followed directions. I couldn't be happier. As soon as he seen me from across the room, he took a leap and ran to and jumped into my arms with a huge kiss and hug and was all smiles! I wanted to cry with joy! I think I was wrong about the school from the first glance and couldn't be happier that he is where he is!

We are looking forward to another wonderful day tomorrow! :0)

It's been a while

Well, it's been a while since I have posted and Hayden has now turned 3 ... seems impossible! I can remember so vividly being in a hospital bed praying for him to be alive when he was born and now he is a happy, healthy three year old little boy! Time has just gotten away from us. Even sadder is that he starts school on Monday. Yes, school! Amazing right! I can hardly believe that my little boy will be going to school.

I thought I would be sad, but I think school will be good for him and allow me to catch up on some "me" time. It's only 4 hours, right? Wrong! I am dying that he will be away from me for that long every day! I have already had issues with the school. I tried for weeks to set up a meet and greet with his teacher and therapists, but it didn't happen. Now, I feel like we are walking in blindly. I am apprehensive about it at best.

I stopped in on Wednesday to drop off his shot record and physical form (that I guessed he needed, noone told me) and spoke briefly with his teacher. She was running around like a crazy person and thought that he was on the spectrum. Ahhhh! So, After a short conversation with her I still don't feel like she knows anything about my child and was left with the impression that she really didn't care. That's not the way to start out with a parent ... especially of a special needs child.

(Deep Breath) I just don't know. I spoke to a friend of mine at length about her son starting school this year and he goes for 6 hours a day and another friends son goes for 5 1/2 hours. I would be so lost. But, I may end up changing schools if things don't turn around fast. This teacher seemed so frazzeled and the class size is like 8 kids for 4 adults. What is there to be frazzeled about? Really? Ugh! I am just so upset by it all. We will have to wait and see. My stomach is in knots just thinking about what I walked into Wednesday!

One thing is for sure, it won't be a while before I post again!